And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.
Boy oh boy, I've really been tested recently on this whole "forgiveness" thing. So, going through this spiritual change has been on heck of test. I'm truly trying to take everything in stride and really practice the act of forgiveness. I'm not talking about the "forgive, but never forget" forgiveness or the true, if I'm going to forgive, I'm really going to forgive and not hold it against you.
Just to give you an idea of the "tests" I've been giving on this matter, I've listed below. Mind you, I've encountered all these "tests" in the past 10 days:
1). Awesome Guy decided to tell (mind you, unprovoke, I did not ask for this info) that he is about to start dating his ex-girlfriend again. (NOTE: I really didn't have a problem with him dating the ex, the problem was we were only broken up for 10 DAMN DAYS at this point, but nevermind that)
2). Some unfortunate "brother" of ours (cause we are one big family) decided to break into my car and steal my iPod, 3 pairs of sunglasses (mind you, one of them were my really fave Bulgari sunglasses and if you know Bulgari, you know the sting in my heart (and damn pocket) that I felt)
3). So, I'm embracing this whole "sista" girl look (which I'm loving), however, this new look really shows me how "special" people can be. I've had complete strangers come and pull my hair, yell out car windows "I have a comb for you", and last but not lease "that's what my hair looks like when I wake up in the morning, I just don't know how you do it" (FYI, that is not a damn compliment).
Either way, all these acts could have made me very, very angry (if you know the old me, then you know (please re-read the "Keeping the Crazy in Check" post, you'll get it), however, I realize as I grow, I really have begin to make some turns in life. Did I totally curse the ex out (a little, but hey, I'm not perfect), but I have truly forgiven him for his mistake and we continue to move forward in establishing a "friendship" (that's a whole 'notha post), did I curse the brother who rob me, no, I prayed for him, cause he must be in dire straits, and honestly, I could re-buy all that stuff, so hopefully, it's getting him some good use and finally, for those who made comments about my hair, I prayed for them too. Honestly, when you're that lost and don't even realize the actions your doing are, well, honestly dumb, and a lesser person would have knocked your ass out for touching them, but I'm trying to grow.
Don't get me wrong, there are bits of anger that pop up when I think about those incidents, but if I were to succumb to those feelings, I wouldn't be growing the way that I should be growing spiritually. So, all I can do is pray for them and me and that one day, we can all forgive each other and maybe do some good.
Ok, I'll get from behind the pulpit now, but figured this might be of inspiration for someone cause I do believe when you hold in anger and don't forgive, it really holds you back from being the true asset to the world you are.
So, hug it out and forgive...
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