Random Post

Because Valentine's Day is so far away and National Pig Out Day (i.e. Thanksgiving) is no where near, this one is for the swine lovers out there:

Enjoy!!!!

Update: My 40 Day Fast I'm getting tired

So, I'm coming towards the end of my fast.

This week is fruits and veggies only. Trying to do right by fast and leave it as that exactly, no processed foods, flour, grains CHESSE (or cheese, how I miss you).

Honestly, I feel like I'm struggling more this week than last. I guess last week because I knew I wasn't eating, I felt okay. This week, however, knowing that I'm only eating fruits and veggies, I AM ABSOLUTELY STARING. (Insight: I actually am not the biggest fan of veggies. Prior to fast the only veggies I would pretty much eat were broccoli, cauliflower and potates (and those were mostly fried)).

I can def feel a change in my body and mind. I def feel a sense of clarity, but I can also feel my body now kicking my a** because I'm depriving it of food.

Honestly, there are times this week when I'm just like forget it. I don't feel like praying, I don't feel like reading the Bible, I was just want to sit and veg (no pun intended) out. But, one of my good friends said something to me that I really took to heart. He said, "It's not like Jesus stop being Jesus for a day".  I thought about it for a sec...that was so true. I'm sure there are days when He was like "Ugh, all these sick people bugging and ish. I just want to take a break" (or at least that's what I would say), but he didn't. He helped all his brothers and sisters. He was tempted left and right, but knew his Father sent him for purpose and it was he needed to fulfill that purpose.

Okay, so clearly, I'm not Jesus (nor do I want to be, sounds like a tough job), but if he could deal with all  that was tossed his way, me not eating meat and cheese is nothing. At the end of the day, will this make me a better person, probably not, but it does allow me to begin my journey on building a stronger relationship with God and Jesus.

So, to all those who don't feel like doing certain things, I say it's okay (one: because I'm a believer of if you're not going to do whole-heartedly, then don't do it at all; two: Hey, He understands. Not the best excuse not to do anything, but he does). Just continue to work on yourself and how you can be a better bro or sis to the world.

Okay, onward to reading my gossip blogs (i know, i know, such a hypocrite, but He's working on me).

Update: My 40 Day Fast

So, a few people inquired how my fast was going, figured I would give an update:

So, I am currently in week 4 of my fast where I only consume liquids.

Weeks 1 - 3 were a little tough, but those were only preparing me for this week. It's amazing how things work and the things you do in spiritual preparation prepare you for obstacles or events you may come up against in your life.

Surprisingly (or not surprisingly, depending on how you look at it) I'm doing really well this week. There are times when I would rather eat my arm, but then I remember why I'm doing this, pray and mediate, and oddly (or not oddly enough) a sense of peace comes over me and I'm not hungry (not saying I'm not hungry 3 hours later, but just pray some more). Also, I'm not cranky (which I just knew I was going to be and also I  really haven't lost any weight, which I'm very surprised about, though I am a bit delirious at times, but oh well).

Either way, I'm doing better than expected. This really makes me appreciate the saying "He never gives you more than you can handle." I know if I can make it through this, it makes anything else seem obsolete and minute.


So, two more weeks to go....I'll keep you updated. Now, back to my grape G2 and Lipton tea :)

Things I like: Dave Chappelle's Making the Band

Clearly, I'm feeling GREAT (copyright Kanye) and nostalgic today (also, have nothing to rant about or offer words of inspiration ("hey it's like that sometime, this sh*ts ridiculous (copyright Yeezy again). So, whenenver I'm having a shotty day, one of my fave things to do is watch The Chappelle Show, especially the outtakes (if you haven't seen them, holler at Netflix ASAP and order).

Either way, this is one of my ultimate fave skits (there are so many, but this one touches my heart).

So, before you enjoy, here are some of my favorite lines from this skit
Wyclef: "You can either make the song or not make the song"
Dylan: "Ya too close to me, man"
Puffy: "This is 100% Cambodian breast milk"

Enjoy!

Also, enjoy "I spit hot fire"
Fave quotes from this part of the skit:
Dylan: "I was sitting courtside at a Knicks game and Stevie Wonder saw me"
Dylan: "Five greatest rappers of all-time: Dylan, Dylan.....Dylan, Dylan, Dylan"

Videos courtesy of youtube

Thing I like: Boondocks " The Return of Stinkmeaner"

An oldie, but a goodie. I so do miss the Boondocks. So hilarious, yet so educational. This is absolutely one of my FAVE episode: The Return of Stinkmeaner. (My fave episode is really hard to find, the one where they make fun of BET, trying to find that episode is like trying to find weapons of mass destruction).

Anyhoo, thought I share this with you all. In a way, it kinda goes along with my trying to turn the other cheek transition in my life. Oh so true, def the part of diffusing a "XXX moment" (you'll get it when you watch the video.

Enjoy yo self!

Wish I could find the entire episode, but youtube finally got smart and took it off their site. :(

One of a few tricks of a Broke Socialite

Well, hello world,


Time for another post. So, I thought about it and realized the title "The Broke Socialite Now" has dual  meanings: 1). I was a broke socialite (spiritually) but I'm trying to put myself back together 2). I really am a broke socialite, hustling these "streets" for premium food and drank, lol. So, I just wanted to put that out there.


Anway, this particular post is about hustling in these "streets". Figured I'd share to tools of the trade.
GOOD READ (Yes, I know it looks long as hell, but promise the pay off is so worth it)


This particular tool can be used for both men and women (a little harder for men, but I've seen it work).


What you need:
- A mentality that "socialiting" (yes, I just made up term, work with me here) is just a game
- A big beautiful smile
- Confidence outta this world
- A solid team around you (i.e. friends who understand the game and recognize what's at stake)


So, today's lesson is how to find a someone with bottle service to get your "free" drink on.

Step 1:
Prior to entering your location, you and your team need to discuss who is the ring leader of the evening. Basically, who's feeling the "flyest" that night, who has the best attitude (this is very important, cause the stank face one of group will totally jack up the entire mission), who ready to take one for the team (ie. who's going to have to deal with the person or persons who we suckered into letting us sit at their table)

Step 2:
Once the ring leader has been decided, you and your team enter location with the attitude that "you built the m'fer and everyone there is your guest". The reason to do this is to automatically make yourself stand out. People love a confident group. PLEASE NOTE: There is a difference between walking in a room with a scowl on your face and walking into a room laughing with a huge smile. Please do the latter

Step 3:
This sort of needs to be done concurrently with Step 2. Scan the room for your "merton" (Note: I'm borrowing this word from my gay husband. There really no good definition for a merton, but kinda like the one random you meet out socializing that you probably have no intention of hanging out with again, but it's a hella funny word, so we're going to run with it).

Mertons come in all shapes and sizes:
"Too Cool For The Room" Merton: some think they are too cool for the room (don't bother with them, more than likely you're already getting ready to hold a pointless convo anyway, nothing is worse than holding a pointless convo with someone who takes themselves seriously)

"Old" Merton: This is someone who really is too damn old to be in club, but who am I to judge. If it makes you feel young, run with it. For the fellas, female Mertons are usually cool, but don't be surprised if she ask if you are looking to get married, this is not the point of free drink searching. Politely decline and run the other direction. Ladies (and other men), old male mertons usually go "daddy" on you and want to start giving you life advice. If you can tolerate, stick it out, but it's a tough one. I suggest doing an "about face" and gracefully walk to the other side of the room. Note: Old Mertons will follow you around your location, so please be aware

"Just right" Merton: This is someone who respects and understands the game. This Merton realizes that this is just a one off thing. They know you have a team of people with you and regardless of gender, they let the whole team join in on the fun. This Merton is usually really nice, can hold a decent convo, and respects that when the bottle is empty, you will leave them and they are okay with that. It's kinda like you actually feel bad, but then you remember this is a game. It's even okay to exchange contact info with Merton as this person has the potential to go from Merton to actual friend.

Note: There are many types of Mertons, these are just a few and this post is starting to turn into an essay.

Step 4:
Give eye contact to the Merton and then keep it moving. . If you followed Step 2 correctly, the Merton has already spotted you and they will seek you out. PLEASE DO NO APPROACH MERTON. This is major "no no", now you look like you're looking for a drink and the whole mission is a bust.

Step 5:
Guaranteed, the Merton will approach you and team within 5 minutes of initial contact. Once contact has been established, proceed to hold a :30 to 1 minute convo. At this point, both parties realize what the deal is and at this point, you and your team should now be escorted to the table. If this does not happen within the time frame, politely excuse yourself from convo cause current Merton is in the way of other potential Mertons who are more than excited to have you join them.

Step 6:
Walk to table, introduce yourself and team to EVERYONE at the table (random chicks or dudes (note: these ppl have a tendency to hate on newcomers, but they're just confused as to how your game is so fly. Educate, if you can), weird friend that sitting off to the side, and all others). At this point, you're pretty much good to go.

Some basic table etiqutte:
- Remember you were invited to your free drinks, however, you did not "put on this", thus you don't have the right to just start grabbing ish and pouring you, the crew and the random homies next to you a drink. Always ask, people appreciate a humble person
- Don't be afraid to walk away. If your goal was to get the crew one free round of drinks, do so and keep it moving. You gotta respect the game and the plan.
- If someone at the table or free drink area gets fiesty at the table with you or anyone in the crew, leave immediately. Someone is just hating on the game and who can blame them.

So, if you made it through this long ass post, very happy for you. Just wanted to share one of the tools of the trade of being a Broke Socialite.  It's actually really easy and if you follow these steps accordingly, you should be enjoying a free night in less than 30 minutes. Please feel free to offer additional suggestions. I'm always learning.

Now, just for ish and giggles, looking like this will not get you  a free night:

Or maybe it will, different strokes for diffent folks.

Disclaimer: You don't have to take this post seriously, really for ish and giggles, however, if you do, it really works. Enjoy yo self!