Why won't people let me GREAT

Oh, in the immortal words of the great Kanye West "WHY WON'T YOU LET ME BE GREAT!".

So, as you all know, I'm going through some life changes in the way I handle situations on a daily basis, how I live, etc. Yesterday, I was in bible study (sidenote: you'd be surprised how many don't know what Ash Wednesday really is or why we fast) and the teacher said something that stuck out to me. He said "You must not have faith, you must live faith". What he meant by that was, there are going to be down periods in your life (hell, your day) when you feel down, defeated and just overall negative, but that's normal and try not to let the naysayers who say "well, well, just read the bible or quote you some scripture" make you feel bad cause your having a bad day.In so many words, he said tell them to "f" out, you know what to do and keep it moving. Cause in reality, you'll feel better in few (seconds, minutes, hours, whateves)

Anyhoo, though I'm going this change, I'm still smart-ass, witty Taryn. Now, when I was my most recent relationship, people were like you change. So, it's like "okay, i'm single again, I'm back", but now if I say "Oh, (old hookup) I don't want to hang with you cause you now have a girlfriend", I'm a bitch or I get the response ("oh you got morals now"(what a bitch thing to say)  or if I make some crude joke, I get "oh, what happened to "holier than thou", "thought you were changing". Honestly, the change I'm going through cannot be made in 5 months. I mean it took me 20-something years to get the I am, it's going to take a lot longer to remove my destructive ways.

So, I'm not saying I'm changing to be better than anyone or what anyone does is wrong, I'm just changing for myself to have a more fulfilling life.

So, yes I may still drink a bottle of Jack (hey, I'm a real good time then) or I may make a smart-ass remark, but doesn't make the change in life less significant. I'm still the same person, just improved.

So, again to all those that have some smart sh*t to say..."LET ME BE GREAT" (damn, haters)

Things that matter to me: Breakthrough Urban Ministries

In the middle of 2009, I was introduced to this organization called Breakthrough Ministries. I didn't know a lot about it besides it was shelter located on the Westside of ChiCity (which is scary, scary place (not really, that's just the snobby Southsider in me coming out).

Anyhoo, a dear friend of mine, who has volunteered with the organization for many years, was leaving a job post there and tried to get me a hook-up on a job. While visiting, a group of potential volunteers went on a tour of facilities (I use the term loosely, it's not like it's a college campus). On the tour, we saw the two facilities that house those in dispair and crisises (one for women, the other for men). Though I went there trying to get a hook-up on job, it really impacted me. See, while I've done volunteer service before, it was just that: volunteering. That volunteering was more like a "wham, bam thank ma'am (or sir) (whatever floats your boat). Here, I felt some type of connection (mind you, I hadn't volunteered yet, so what connection I felt, who knows). While I felt that connection, it still took me some time to finally dedicate my time to the organization. For some odd reason, I was against volunteering anywhere but the Southside, guess my allegiance, but I couldn't find an organization that really spoke to me. Then I realized that was problem, I didn't just want to "volunteer", I wanted to be a part of something bigger. Finally, after some serious consideration (and some anonymous donations), I decided "woman" up and go help at Breakthrough.

I spend my time helping those trying to find their way back into the workforce: Reviewing resumes, mock interviews, helping write cover letters, etc. While this might be boring and mundane for some, I find this extremely interesting (and may I say, fun, errr). It's not the reviewing resumes part, but the part of working with my brothers and sisters who are at a low period in life, gain some self confidence and new skills. Not only am I helping them, but they're helping me. As much as I complain about not getting paid enough or I can't find my next fabulous job in PR, a lot of these people are just trying to get a job at the local grocery store. Everyone comes from so many walks of life: some never finished high school, others hold Master's degree, but along the way, got off track. Being here really makes me realize how blessed I really am and more so, that I should not judge others because at the end of the day, we all started at the same place and just got off track somewhere. I use to have a really elitist mind-set, but now I value different ideals and beliefs. As long as I'm working side by side with my fellow brothers and sisters, I'm a happy camper. I can proudly say, I may be broke financially (ain't that the truth), but I'm not broke spiritually (not anymore, at least).

I could continue my rant, but I've gone on too long (my colleague told me post should be no longer than 400 words, scrap that (sidenote: I curse like a sailor, so trying to make a habit of substituting my bad words, hey no one said you have to perfect to work in PR).

To learn more about Breakthrough, check out their website: http://www.breakthrough.org/

To end, here's a snippit of Dr. King's speech "I've been to the Mountaintop":

.....The first question that the [religious man] ... asked was, "If I stop to help this man, what will happen to me?" But then the Good Samaritan came by. And he reversed the question: "If I do not stop to help this man, what will happen to him?"
That's the question before you tonight. Not, "If I stop to help the sanitation workers, what will happen to my job." Not, "If I stop to help the sanitation workers what will happen to all of the hours that I usually spend in my office every day and every week as a pastor?" The question is not, "If I stop to help this man in need, what will happen to me?" The question is, "If I do not stop to help the sanitation workers, what will happen to them?" That's the question.